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“Mark Me” (Dragonfly in Amber)


ep213-dragonfly-in-amber-cropMark me…. or, you know…. don’t….

I’d thought of posting this bit from DRAGONFLY before the TV show’s finale for season two, and warning you that the show wasn’t doing it this way, lest finding this particular bit omitted might cause some of you (you know who you are…) to become Disgruntled and thus miss the real beauty and intensity of Jamie and Claire’s farewell.

But then I decided that I shouldn’t do that; not only would it be a spoiler, it might well rile some people a priori and not only spoil the ending for them, but also cause any amount of hopping up and down and general agitation that I didn’t think would serve anyone going into what’s really a spectacular ending.

But I did want to show the original to you, both as a solace to the book-fans, and a small gift to the TV-show-only fans.

(BTW… one of the writers was chatting with me before a Writers Bloc interview in LA and said, "We’re not going to do the cutting initials, but you’ll love what we’re doing instead!" I didn’t say anything (out of shock) but the expression on my face must have given a general impression of not being proactively thrilled. I got a grip and asked calmly what that was, only to be told that they were going to have Claire give Jamie the chunk of amber with the dragonfly, prior to going through the stones.

I won’t recount the entirety of my comments to Ron and Maril in the wake of this conversation, but I recall saying, "…there’s a massive emotional distance between, ‘I love you so passionately that I want you to shed my blood and scar me forever so I can remember your touch,’ and ‘Here, darling, take the ugliest wedding present ever to remember me by for the forty-five minutes before you die.’"

They admitted the essential truth of this <cough>, but insisted that they couldn’t do the cutting because it would be messy (they had all kinds of trouble with the blood-knife at the wedding, and were envisioning blood dripping everywhere and smearing and what it would do to the costumes, which had to last through multiple takes) and take too long and interrupt the pacing of the scene.

In all of which contentions, they were indubitably right, but STILL. The only thing I was able to do was extract a promise that they’d speak to the props department about making a new chunk of amber that didn’t look quite so much like a piece off a broken telephone pole transformer.)

So anyway…. here you go!

Social Media Hashtags: #DailyLines, #DRAGONFLYinAMBER, #MarkMe

dragonfly in amber coverA wave of anguish broke through me, so acute that I must have made some sound, for he opened his eyes. He smiled when he saw me, and his eyes searched my face. I knew that he was memorizing my features, as I was his.

"Jamie," I said. My voice was hoarse with sleep and swallowed tears. "Jamie. I want you to mark me."

"What?" he said, startled.

The tiny sgian dhu he carried in his stocking was lying within reach, its handle of carved staghorn dark against the piled clothing. I reached for it and handed it to him.

"Cut me," I said urgently. "Deep enough to leave a scar. I want to take away your touch with me, to have something of you that will stay with me always. I don’t care if it hurts; nothing could hurt more than leaving you. At least when I touch it, wherever I am, I can feel your touch on me."

His hand was over mine where it rested on the knife’s hilt. After a moment, he squeezed it and nodded. He hesitated for a moment, the razor-sharp blade in his hand, and I offered him my right hand. It was warm beneath our coverings, but his breath came in wisps, visible in the cold air of the room.

He turned my palm upward, examining it carefully, than raised it to his lips. A soft kiss in the well of the palm, then he seized the base of my thumb in a hard, sucking bite. Letting go, he swiftly cut into the numbed flesh. I felt nothing more than a mild burning sensation, but the blood welled at once. He brought the hand quickly to his mouth again, holding it there until the flow of blood slowed. He bound the wound, now stinging, carefully in a handkerchief, but not before I saw that the cut was in the shape of a small, slightly crooked letter "J".

I looked up to see that he was holding out the tiny knife to me. I took it, and somewhat hesitantly, took the hand he offered me.

He closed his eyes briefly, and set his lips, but a small grunt of pain escaped him as I pressed the tip of the knife into the fleshy pad at the base of his thumb. The Mount of Venus, a palm-reader had told me; indicator of passion and love.

It was only as I completed the small semicircular cut that I realized he had given me his left hand.

"I should have taken the other," I said. "Your sword hilt will press on it."

He smiled faintly.

"I could ask no more than to feel your touch on me in my last fight— wherever it comes."

Unwrapping the blood-spotted handkerchief, I pressed my wounded hand tightly against his, fingers gripped together. The blood was warm and slick, not yet sticky between our hands.

"Blood of my blood…" I whispered.

"…and Bone of my Bone," he answered softly. Neither of us could finish the vow, "so long as we both shall live," but the unspoken words hung aching between us. Finally he smiled crookedly.

"Longer than that," he said firmly, and pulled me to him once more.

&&&

"Frank," he said at last, with a sigh. "Well, I leave it to you what ye shall tell him about me. Likely he’ll not want to hear. But if he does, if ye find ye can talk to him of me, as you have to me of him— then tell him… I’m grateful. Tell him I trust him, because I must. And tell him—" His hands tightened suddenly on my arms, and he spoke with a mixture of laughter and absolute sincerity. "Tell him I hate him to his guts and the marrow of his bones!"

We were dressed, and the dawn light had strengthened into day. There was no food, nothing with which to break our fast. Nothing left that must be done… and nothing left to say.

He would have to leave now, to make it to Drumossie Moor in time. This was our final parting, and we could find no way to say goodbye.

At last, he smiled crookedly, bent, and kissed me gently on the lips.

"They say…" he began, and stopped to clear his throat. "They say, in the old days, when a man would go forth to do a great deed—he would find a wise-woman, and ask her to bless him. He would stand looking forth, in the direction he would go, and she would come behind him, to say the words of the prayer over him. When she had finished, he would go straight out, and not look back, for that was ill-luck to his quest."

He touched my face once, and turned away, facing the open door. The morning sun streamed in, lighting his hair in a thousand flames. He straightened his shoulders, broad beneath his plaid, and drew a deep breath.

"Bless me, then, wisewoman," he said softly, "and go."

I laid a hand on his shoulder, groping for words. Jenny had taught me a few of the ancient Celtic prayers of protection; I tried to summon the words in my mind.

"Jesus, Thou Son of Mary," I started, speaking hoarsely, "I call upon Thy name; and on the name of John the Apostle beloved, And on the names of all the saints in the red domain, To shield thee in the battle to come… "

I stopped, interrupted by a sound from the hillside below. The sound of voices, and of footsteps.

Jamie froze for a second, shoulder hard beneath my hand, then whirled, pushing me toward the rear of the cottage, where the wall had fallen away.

"That way!" he said. "They are English! Claire, go!"

I ran toward the opening in the wall, heart in my throat, as he turned back to the doorway, hand on his sword. I stopped, just for a moment, for the last sight of him. He turned his head, caught sight of me, and suddenly he was with me, pushing me hard against the wall in an agony of desperation. He gripped me fiercely to him. I could feel his erection pressing into my stomach and the hilt of his dagger dug into my side.

He spoke hoarsely into my hair. "Once more. I must! But quick!" He pushed me against the wall and I scrabbled up my skirts as he raised his kilts. This was not lovemaking; he took me quickly and powerfully and it was over in seconds. The voices were nearer; only a hundred yards away.

He kissed me once more, hard enough to leave the taste of blood in my mouth. "Name him Brian," he said "for my father." With a push, he sent me toward the opening. As I ran for it, I glanced back to see him standing in the middle of the doorway, sword half-drawn, dirk ready in his right hand.


I originally posted this excerpt and comments on one of my social media accounts on Sunday, July 10, 2016, about episode 213 (titled "Dragonfly in Amber") of the Starz Outlander TV series.

Top image credit: Starz.

98 Responses »

  1. Once again … As always … You impress me with your choice of words & your style as you capture the soulful bond of love between Claire & Jamie … Either way … Your written words work … To experience this kind of soulful love with another is truly a blessing … Thank you … For who you are as a person & for your hard work as a writer & author of some amazing stories …

  2. Dear Diana, Iam of Mexican decent and my birthday is JAN. 11. I love your books and feel like a family member. Waiting for book nine keeps me anxious for more. I admire your intelligence and compassion for the characters of the books. I will reread from book one hopefully at a slower pace because you have kept me excited throughout these books and I would hurry to read more to have an outcome of a chapter or chapters. Thank You for an exciting experience. God Bless you! Linda Hallmark

  3. Dear Diana,

    thank you so much for recalling this originall farwell scene of these two, I was reading it with the tears in my eyes!

    I just completed seson II of Outlander TV series, generally think that they did a brilliant job again (I love all the actors playing in it) but it is a shame not to follow the most breathtaking farewell ever and replace it with something we saw in the episode 13!

    Wish you all the best from Poland!!!

  4. Thank you for this opportunity. Even though the cutting scene was omitted, which was sad as it was so beautiful showing the deep love felt by Jamie & Claire, the ending was still lovely and emotional. Sam Heughan did an absolutely fantastic job with his final words to Claire. The books aand series are amazing with in depth character studies. The Emmy voters should be ashamed. Could go on and on …..

  5. Love! <3

  6. Loath as I am to see changes to your own prose, as a once (and future?) television writer/producer (The Lazarus Man), I understand the occasional need. It’s a testament to your fine work and Outlander’s exec producers’ respect of same that they alter (nay, tamper) as little as they have done thus far. Takes intelligence at the expense of ego for a writer to know when to leave well enough alone.

    I must say, having read “Dragonfly in Amber” multiple times in the last 15 years, I did not miss Claire telling Jamie “Mark me.” Partly because “Mark me” has become such a catch phrase of that insufferable turd, Prince Charles, in the tv series, it’s slipped into my daily vernacular, God help me. But mostly because in the finale, Jamie’s speech — promising to find Claire again, even if only after 200 years in Purgatory — moved me to tears. Especially “God gave me a rare woman and I loved her well.” I believe these ARE your words, (or a close variant) tho’ I can’t recall whether from “Dragonfly” or from another of your Outlander novels. Please clarify.

    Congratulations on the series turning out so splendidly. Bugger on the Emmy nominations — what do they know? And can’t wait for “Tell the Bees I am Gone.”

    Yours truly,

    Colleen O’Dwyer

  7. It could have been done. It should have been done. Those marks were so important.
    I have read each book twice and cannot help but compare the television show to the books as I watched. Some things are done beautifully and are fabulous. But the “mark” was missed on a number of important details. This season’s shows were very good, but not great, and it was the missing details that made the difference.

    As much as I disliked the character of Prince Charlie, I thought the portrayal was superb. And the writer that came up with “mark me” is brilluant.

  8. So happy you posted this wonderful scene for those folks who are not readers of the Outlander Books. (and for me t00!) I love your quip about the dragonfly in amber gift! You have a wicked sense of humor…and I mean that as a compliment. Your story telling is spellbinding…..Thank you for sharing your talent with all of us. You are one exceptional lady…..Wishing you “all things bright and beautiful.”

    Joyce Goodstein

  9. Please, Ms. Gabaldon! Please petition R.D. Moore to have you write the script for the Voyager episode which covers the 1st couple of days after Claire finds Jamie in Edenborough. Please don’t let RDM’s ham-fisted screen writers (who obviously have NOT read the books) suck all the fun out of a very enjoyable & yes, FUN part of Voyager the way they sucked all the fun out of Dragonfly. I did enjoy the episode you wrote…THANK YOU!

  10. I wondered what if Jamie had just told Charlie to f——–off, while Charlie’s bipping off about Doubting Thomas………….

  11. I LOVED THE ORIGINAL PARTING AT THE STANDING STONES AND AGREE THAT MUCH WAS LOST IN ITS OMMISSION ! HOWEVER, THE FINALE WAS POWERFUL AND HEART-RENDING. SEASON 3 CANT COME SOON ENOUGH!

    PLEASE KEEP CLAIRE AND JAMIE ALIVE IN BOOK NINE. I CANT GET ENOUGH OF THESE WONDERFUL BOOKS!

  12. Oh my, my heart breaks every time I think of this moment when they have to part. Diana, thank you for creating this love story. I only just discovered your books a couple years ago but since then I just simply cannot get enough of Jamie and Claire, even continuing to read all of Lord John’s stories to get a glimpse of the time in between 1746 and when Claire can return to him.

    Your writing is beautiful, your word choice lovely. Thank you again. Sarah, Chicago-metro area, IL

  13. Thanks, Diana.

    I love it any way that I can get it! I truly do love the added dimension the TV show has added to the story. It’s okay that it’s a bit different than the way you wrote it. I know a bunch of folks will disagree, but ….

    Mary =D

  14. Dear Ms. Gabaldon,

    I pray that you will be able to write more in the up coming Voyager, especially when Claire comes back to find Jamie in Edinburgh. Mr. Moore and his writing staff leave a lot to be desired. They take the fun and joy out of the series. I Love the one you wrote. Voyager is fast moving and very funny in all the right places. Hope Mr. Moore will realize that and stay with the theme. Looking forward to more with Jamie and Claire.

    Good luck with the crazy writers. At least they should have to read the books FIRST!!!!

  15. I was stunned by the dilution of the parting. Without the cutting scene the intensity of Jamie and Claire’s relationship is trivialized. To me that section of the ending was the most powerful dialog in the book.

    Further, I was disappointed in the minimalization of the relationship throughout season 2. The absence of sex scenes was not the issue. The focus was shifted from the love story to singular events and did not deliver the level of emotion evoked in the book.

  16. Thank you for sharing this with those of us who have yet to read the book. I wish the cutting had been in the series on Starz, it’s powerful and so real. I want to read this book badly. Thank you.

  17. I cried again. You wrote a beautiful scene that SHOULD have been in the show. Some parts of it. A little blood would not have shown up on those dark costumes.
    But then I think everything you have written for Outlander series is really special. Sometimes I think it would have better if I had not read the books over the years but I would have missed your beautiful writing. and Ron has tried to keep to the books so I really am glad I did read them.

  18. …My eyes still fill with tears. Thank you for sharing this amazing gift with all of Us. It’s been 16 years since I first read this. Dragonfly was the only copy of any of your work in the library-so I started my journey here :).

  19. Diana,

    Can you comment on all the negative comments about the choice of Sophie S. for the roll of Brianna?

    It is also my opinion that she is miscast. Not a strong enough or good enough actor. Realize she is supposed to be 20 years old, but she should be a very strong, mature 20 year old to be like her father Jamie, or her mother Claire. I think everyone would like to see someone stronger for Season 3. Any chance?

    I have read ALL your Outlander books twice. Still reading. Love everything about the way you tell this wonderful love story.

  20. I absolutely love the Outlander show on Starz but your words leave me breathless!!

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