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“Mark Me” (Dragonfly in Amber)


ep213-dragonfly-in-amber-cropMark me…. or, you know…. don’t….

I’d thought of posting this bit from DRAGONFLY before the TV show’s finale for season two, and warning you that the show wasn’t doing it this way, lest finding this particular bit omitted might cause some of you (you know who you are…) to become Disgruntled and thus miss the real beauty and intensity of Jamie and Claire’s farewell.

But then I decided that I shouldn’t do that; not only would it be a spoiler, it might well rile some people a priori and not only spoil the ending for them, but also cause any amount of hopping up and down and general agitation that I didn’t think would serve anyone going into what’s really a spectacular ending.

But I did want to show the original to you, both as a solace to the book-fans, and a small gift to the TV-show-only fans.

(BTW… one of the writers was chatting with me before a Writers Bloc interview in LA and said, "We’re not going to do the cutting initials, but you’ll love what we’re doing instead!" I didn’t say anything (out of shock) but the expression on my face must have given a general impression of not being proactively thrilled. I got a grip and asked calmly what that was, only to be told that they were going to have Claire give Jamie the chunk of amber with the dragonfly, prior to going through the stones.

I won’t recount the entirety of my comments to Ron and Maril in the wake of this conversation, but I recall saying, "…there’s a massive emotional distance between, ‘I love you so passionately that I want you to shed my blood and scar me forever so I can remember your touch,’ and ‘Here, darling, take the ugliest wedding present ever to remember me by for the forty-five minutes before you die.’"

They admitted the essential truth of this <cough>, but insisted that they couldn’t do the cutting because it would be messy (they had all kinds of trouble with the blood-knife at the wedding, and were envisioning blood dripping everywhere and smearing and what it would do to the costumes, which had to last through multiple takes) and take too long and interrupt the pacing of the scene.

In all of which contentions, they were indubitably right, but STILL. The only thing I was able to do was extract a promise that they’d speak to the props department about making a new chunk of amber that didn’t look quite so much like a piece off a broken telephone pole transformer.)

So anyway…. here you go!

Social Media Hashtags: #DailyLines, #DRAGONFLYinAMBER, #MarkMe

dragonfly in amber coverA wave of anguish broke through me, so acute that I must have made some sound, for he opened his eyes. He smiled when he saw me, and his eyes searched my face. I knew that he was memorizing my features, as I was his.

"Jamie," I said. My voice was hoarse with sleep and swallowed tears. "Jamie. I want you to mark me."

"What?" he said, startled.

The tiny sgian dhu he carried in his stocking was lying within reach, its handle of carved staghorn dark against the piled clothing. I reached for it and handed it to him.

"Cut me," I said urgently. "Deep enough to leave a scar. I want to take away your touch with me, to have something of you that will stay with me always. I don’t care if it hurts; nothing could hurt more than leaving you. At least when I touch it, wherever I am, I can feel your touch on me."

His hand was over mine where it rested on the knife’s hilt. After a moment, he squeezed it and nodded. He hesitated for a moment, the razor-sharp blade in his hand, and I offered him my right hand. It was warm beneath our coverings, but his breath came in wisps, visible in the cold air of the room.

He turned my palm upward, examining it carefully, than raised it to his lips. A soft kiss in the well of the palm, then he seized the base of my thumb in a hard, sucking bite. Letting go, he swiftly cut into the numbed flesh. I felt nothing more than a mild burning sensation, but the blood welled at once. He brought the hand quickly to his mouth again, holding it there until the flow of blood slowed. He bound the wound, now stinging, carefully in a handkerchief, but not before I saw that the cut was in the shape of a small, slightly crooked letter "J".

I looked up to see that he was holding out the tiny knife to me. I took it, and somewhat hesitantly, took the hand he offered me.

He closed his eyes briefly, and set his lips, but a small grunt of pain escaped him as I pressed the tip of the knife into the fleshy pad at the base of his thumb. The Mount of Venus, a palm-reader had told me; indicator of passion and love.

It was only as I completed the small semicircular cut that I realized he had given me his left hand.

"I should have taken the other," I said. "Your sword hilt will press on it."

He smiled faintly.

"I could ask no more than to feel your touch on me in my last fight— wherever it comes."

Unwrapping the blood-spotted handkerchief, I pressed my wounded hand tightly against his, fingers gripped together. The blood was warm and slick, not yet sticky between our hands.

"Blood of my blood…" I whispered.

"…and Bone of my Bone," he answered softly. Neither of us could finish the vow, "so long as we both shall live," but the unspoken words hung aching between us. Finally he smiled crookedly.

"Longer than that," he said firmly, and pulled me to him once more.

&&&

"Frank," he said at last, with a sigh. "Well, I leave it to you what ye shall tell him about me. Likely he’ll not want to hear. But if he does, if ye find ye can talk to him of me, as you have to me of him— then tell him… I’m grateful. Tell him I trust him, because I must. And tell him—" His hands tightened suddenly on my arms, and he spoke with a mixture of laughter and absolute sincerity. "Tell him I hate him to his guts and the marrow of his bones!"

We were dressed, and the dawn light had strengthened into day. There was no food, nothing with which to break our fast. Nothing left that must be done… and nothing left to say.

He would have to leave now, to make it to Drumossie Moor in time. This was our final parting, and we could find no way to say goodbye.

At last, he smiled crookedly, bent, and kissed me gently on the lips.

"They say…" he began, and stopped to clear his throat. "They say, in the old days, when a man would go forth to do a great deed—he would find a wise-woman, and ask her to bless him. He would stand looking forth, in the direction he would go, and she would come behind him, to say the words of the prayer over him. When she had finished, he would go straight out, and not look back, for that was ill-luck to his quest."

He touched my face once, and turned away, facing the open door. The morning sun streamed in, lighting his hair in a thousand flames. He straightened his shoulders, broad beneath his plaid, and drew a deep breath.

"Bless me, then, wisewoman," he said softly, "and go."

I laid a hand on his shoulder, groping for words. Jenny had taught me a few of the ancient Celtic prayers of protection; I tried to summon the words in my mind.

"Jesus, Thou Son of Mary," I started, speaking hoarsely, "I call upon Thy name; and on the name of John the Apostle beloved, And on the names of all the saints in the red domain, To shield thee in the battle to come… "

I stopped, interrupted by a sound from the hillside below. The sound of voices, and of footsteps.

Jamie froze for a second, shoulder hard beneath my hand, then whirled, pushing me toward the rear of the cottage, where the wall had fallen away.

"That way!" he said. "They are English! Claire, go!"

I ran toward the opening in the wall, heart in my throat, as he turned back to the doorway, hand on his sword. I stopped, just for a moment, for the last sight of him. He turned his head, caught sight of me, and suddenly he was with me, pushing me hard against the wall in an agony of desperation. He gripped me fiercely to him. I could feel his erection pressing into my stomach and the hilt of his dagger dug into my side.

He spoke hoarsely into my hair. "Once more. I must! But quick!" He pushed me against the wall and I scrabbled up my skirts as he raised his kilts. This was not lovemaking; he took me quickly and powerfully and it was over in seconds. The voices were nearer; only a hundred yards away.

He kissed me once more, hard enough to leave the taste of blood in my mouth. "Name him Brian," he said "for my father." With a push, he sent me toward the opening. As I ran for it, I glanced back to see him standing in the middle of the doorway, sword half-drawn, dirk ready in his right hand.


I originally posted this excerpt and comments on one of my social media accounts on Sunday, July 10, 2016, about episode 213 (titled "Dragonfly in Amber") of the Starz Outlander TV series.

Top image credit: Starz.

98 Responses »

  1. As much as I appreciate the reasons for the show doing as they did, the emotion and rawness of the book is so much more powerful in this scene. This, honestly, has been the only changed scene where I get they didn’t hit the mark as far as keeping to the tone of the book. The absolute tearing of their hearts as they parted was palpable in the book. It was sad in the show, but not at the same level. Heck, they could have done the scarring without showing the actual cutting (or show it from the back side and then close up of the wound after with sfx.

    Oh well. They’ve done a pretty good job all season – this really is the only scene I’ve missed terribly.

  2. Diana, thank you for blessing us with your magnificent literary creations. Ron Moore and staff have developed a visual translation of the living, breathing, heart filled creation that is “Outlander”. Just as a film about the life of any famous individual falls woefully short of reality, so must a film adaptation of a great literary work fall short.

    I have been as fan of all things Outlander for over 20 years. My love of the novels continues and includes the fantastic work done by the Outlander cast and crew on the Stars screen adaptation. I encourage everyone to read the books. Through a complete understanding of the books, it’s only then that the work done on screen can be truly appreciated.

    Although I was disappointed not to see Claire and Jamie ” mark” eachother before being separated by the stones, it remains that their hearts are marked forever.

    As a reader I trust Diana to remain vigilant and keep the film train on track. Remember that those train passengers are her “babies”. We, who are parents, can certainly understand the bonds between parents and children.

  3. I loved the entire series and look forward to the next episode!

  4. I love your books. I am a history buff anyway, love historical novels and romances. I really think I was perhaps born in the wrong century but then I think of hot baths/showers any time I want, washing machines and other modern conveniences and I sigh. But I could never not take baths for as long as some of these women who would dump huge amounts of scent on them instead. Just not my style. But please continue your writings. I started reading your Outlander books when the first came out, got as far as Voyager and then children, jobs and in general, life got into the mix. When the series started I realized that you had written other books after Voyager and I never knew. So I started all over again with the first and now I’m into An Echo In The Bone. Then I will finish MOBY and patiently await the new part of this fabulous saga. Can’t wait for next season and the reunion of the two souls. Thank you for your writings and be well and happy in life.

    Bonnie Amato
    Outlander Fan

  5. Thank you for this. It adds so much texture to the show. The last episode of Outlander was an adventure – It had my heart racing, sinking, pining, then aching, and then it started all over again…..then I had to move on to Voyager the book because there was no way I would end all that with a black fade-out…..so in one all-nighter I read Voyager.

    I have to say this. And this is my opinion alone. Without reading your books this love, this life, these two human beings and their passion cannot exist. You watch the show and you are happy. Then you read the book and suddenly you wished you had seen it in the show. Never mind though I have vivid imagination enough and through your writing I can live without.

    Thank you for the inspiration. I sent you an email and someone called Janice responded kindly giving me this link. I have been dormant for 35 years and watching outlander and reading/listening to your books
    has woken up in me a desire to write I thought I had lost.
    Nothing I lived through in life not good or bad has done it- But you did it in a short while.
    You sparked a fire in me and now I cannot stop it!!

    Thanks Diana~

  6. I like this ending the best.

  7. Dear Diana
    Thank you for publishing this for the TV only viewers. I think it helps them understand the intensity of the feelings more as you say.
    One other thing I have noticed about the TV programme. They don’t mention the need for jewel stones to pass through the stones and this becomes very important in the later books if my memory serves me correctly?
    That said. Once I did my usual minor moan about the books not being followed well – exactly -, I am thoroughly enjoying the TV series except that Claire hasn’t aged at all – grey hair doesn’t do it really – 20 years in the future in the finale. She will need some wrinkles please in the next series.

  8. You have left a MARK on all of us who have been touched by these — your stories…

    I just got back from Culloden after visiting Scotland this past June with my family – because of you, btw — it is a haunting place that calls me (us all) back …

    the Highlands are indeed “a beautiful, WILD country…”

    Both the TV series and the books carry with them so much TRUTH in their own way – love, beauty, passion, loyalty, trust and betrayal, the sex isna bad either…

    Hearing Jamie say “I hate him (Frank) to the marrow of his bones…” — and then actually seeing him (Sam) say it on the screen, and to see Claire notice the Dragonfly in the 1968 tourist center (it’s a wee bit better these days) was just as much a gift as knowing that there’s a small, crooked “J”in her mound of Venus, and a “C” in his…

    Each has it’s place and being a fan of both, I get lucky twice over!!!

    Thank you soooo much — will be waiting for the BUZZING of BEES…

    drj

  9. Dear Diana,
    I absolutely love, love, love your books and have read them over and over again. The show on Starz is breathtakingly wonderful in so many ways, from the actors, to the accents, to the landscapes, seas, ships and glorious French artistry, period scenes, Scottish Highlands and the outstanding outfits.
    Firstly, Claire and Jamie are perfect (both actors-Catriona and Sam) and so close to what I envisioned when I read your books. I am pleased with both the child character and the adult character in Roger! Brianna is spot on for her part…American, sassy, smart, fearless and beautiful.
    I cannot thank you enough for these wonderful books and for keeping me engrossed in this saga year after year. I cannot wait for the next new novel featuring the Fraser and McKenzie clans and for season 3.
    Congrats to you Diana!
    Kind Regards,
    Debra

  10. I love your books. You are an incredible writer. Thank you for giving somewhere to go when I am too stressed with the day. :)

  11. i was so bummed to see this entire scene, essentially, omitted from the finale. it put a big damper on my excitement for season three. i suppose i need to submit to the fact that the shows are adaptations of the book, and i will not be able to visually live the books. isn’t this crazy? look at what you have done to us, diana! :)

  12. Love the books. Couldn’t put them down and can’t wait for the next one. The TV series is amazing. he best TV I’ve watched in years. Please make all the books into TV. Can you work in the Scottish Prisoner somehow?

    • Ron Moore and Starz are the ones who decide which of my works will be in the TV show. Plus it all depends on ratings year to year whether the show will continue. Seasons 3 and 4 are confirmed. After that, it’s up to viewers!

  13. I missed the section about Claire being the ‘Wisewoman’ from the Outlander Finale – beautiful,
    I think as it informs so much about her. The archetype of the ‘wisewoman’, the ‘white lady’, the healer – all so important within the entire story. I loved the fact that Jamie asks her to bless him going out to battle.
    It also feels so accurate ( I am Irish) and we love Blessings. On the thread of being Irish ( and having such wonderful strong actresses as Cait and Laura in the cast- from Ireland)…I would love you to write a sympathetic Irish character within your last Outlander books… please Diana… . Overall I loved the Outlander finale but sort of grieve dialogue and actions that are missing. Also Brianna going to Harvard -I think that the dates may be wrong on that one!! Thanks again for sharing your excerpts and I love your work xx

  14. I am a book and show fan. I was slightly disappointed with what I felt to be a big difference between the books and show. I think the closeness and romance between Clair and Jamie was largely lacking in season 2. There were so many romantic statements and tender moments that were completely left out of the show. I also was disappointed at the lack of (at the risk of sounding crass) love scenes. The whole season felt like there was more tension than love between them. The books don’t come off like that. No matter how many or severe the problems they face in the books they still come back to one another for support and affection. I did not see much of that in the show. I was disappointed with the way the show portrayed the departure from Paris after the loss of the baby. In the book the ride to the country and the reconcile scene I thought was important and a short narrative by Clair about the return to daily life in Scotland being an elixir for their woes did not do the story of the fierceness of their love justice. I understand that changes must be made for the sake of time and complexity of filming but I did not entirely agree with the choices of changes that were made in season 2. That said I do LOVE the show almost as much as I love the books and will watch as long as it is on T.V. One other comment I would like to share about the blood and cutting scene at the end of season 2….. Maybe they could ask the Game of Thrones folks about that. Watch the season finale of GOT season 6. There was a great cutting to Sir Loras Tyrell’s face with no drippage what so ever. Thanks for listening to my rant :), Holly Wilke

  15. And by the way I think the Emmy’s should be ashamed of them selves for being so blind to such incredible acting gifts as are displayed on outlander!!!! Holly

  16. That scene is s0 heart-breakingly beautiful and it’s truly one of my thousand favorites. I am disappointed that it won’t be in the tv, show but I understand that there is only so much you can put into the show. Keep up the excellent work.

  17. Your writing is emotionally true which makes the stories so wonderful.
    Thank you for sharing your dreams and love.

  18. I understand putting something on the screen can be difficult; however, I enjoy reading and re-reading the book so nothing is lost. Certainly the screen version could not display the passion of the written word. As everyone, I await (not patiently) your new book. As I have researched my family ancestry I do understand the research involved. Maybe your could do a new novella to keep your fans happy.
    Gwen

  19. Diana-, I’m curious as to your thoughts on the fan-based pages to #SAVEMurtaugh. Interesting that fans support such a radical departure from the books when they are still grousing about eye color and height of the actors!
    Also would like to know if you have ever considered writing an autobiography?

  20. Dear Diana, this is my first time of writing to you….only wanting to say what everyone else must tell you. Your books are wonderful, but, you already know that !!!

    The Tv programme is the best thing on tv and personally, i LOVE it. you could not have chosen a better Claire and Jamie, thankyou. and thanks to Catriona and Sam for portraying them so beautifully……I am in awe of your talents, all of you…..

    As to the missing parts, well, i too was shocked about some, especially the initials, would have loved to have seen that, but, the ending was incredibly moving, oh my goodness, it brought tears to my eyes, and still does…

    Keep up the good work and ignore the negative stuff, i assure you, in the eyes of your loyal fans, you can do no wrong. You have chosen this group of talented people to portray what you imagined all those years ago and its wonderful….Thankyou…

    kind regards and very best wishes , June Wood. Christchurch, New Zealand

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