• “The smartest historical sci-fi adventure-romance story ever written by a science Ph.D. with a background in scripting 'Scrooge McDuck' comics.”—Salon.com
  • A time-hopping, continent-spanning salmagundi of genres.”
    —ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
  • “These books have to be word-of-mouth books because they're too weird to describe to anybody.”
    —Jackie Cantor, Diana's first editor

From The Front Lines


GoFundMe Campaign for Paxton Gate PDX Employees

Laura-in-gear-cropHere is a small, offbeat request from the front lines.

At right, this is Eldest Daughter, Laura Watkins, OR Nurse—whom you may know better as the author of TALES FOR GULLIBLE CHILDREN on my Methadone List, who said:

“Hey Mom, you’re probably being deluged with requests to donate to laid-off workers’ funds right now, but if you could maybe tweet this one, it would really help the furloughed crew at Paxton Gate PDX, which is that super cool natural history shop we went to the last time you were in town:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/paxton-gate-portland-employee-relief-fund

“It’s a small thing, but it’s important because it’s a magic place, and we need to know there still is magic in the world right now, and keep a place for it to happen.”

So here it is. Laura’s right that there are a LOT of very worthwhile donation requests (and I answer the ones I can), so I thought I’d put up her request.

If you’d like to learn more about Paxton Gate PDX, the store, here is their home page:

https://paxtongate.com


Floral Print Road Warrior

Heck-On-Wheels-cropMy daughter Laura also asked me to send a big Thank You for all of the kind comments of support for her and the other healthcare professionals dealing with the ongoing crisis.

And thank you for the kind efforts of so many of you who are making non-surgical masks for people who need to go out in public. In Laura’s words, “One of my friends hooked me up with one, resulting in a grocery-getting look that I’m calling “Floral Print Road Warrior.” Image at left.

Fashion rules!


Making Masks!

If you sew and would like to make masks, Dr. Jeanne Schneider (a friend of my Webmistress) shared this website below which has free patterns you can use to make masks for yourself and your family, and/or to share with health professionals and others who need them:

https://www.craftpassion.com/face-mask-sewing-pattern/

Happy Sewing!


More Masks

2020-04-DianaGabaldon-masks

At right, this is actually a contemporary piece—it’s a bronze by an artist named Hib Sabin, and is called “Raven Mask (Large).”

We’ve always called it the Plague Doctor, though, for obvious reasons…


Information in this post also appeared on my official social media accounts.

“The Iconic Stable Scene – Ep. 506″


Jamie and Claire in the stable.“Better To Marry Than Burn”

Now, overall, I liked Ep. 506 (of the STARZ Outlander TV show)—especially Jocasta’s heartbreaking final words with Murtaugh—Maria Doyle Kennedy is fabulous (and Duncan LaCroix was right there with her)! Parade Magazine asked me what I thought of the iconic stable scene, though, and so I told them what I thought.

I know a lot of people found it arousing and enjoyed it, and that’s great—I’m all for people liking the show in all its manifestations <g>, and people being people, they’re going to like different things.

That being so, let’s respect each other’s opinions—and I’d like to hear all of them!

So—what did y’all think of 506? (And have you ever eaten grasshoppers or locusts? I have. Once…)

Read “Outlander Fans Get the Sex Scene They’ve Been Hoping for, but Diana Gabaldon Thinks They Might Not Be Satisfied,” by Paulette Cohn for Parade.com. Published on March 22, 2020.

Passage From the Parade article featuring Episode 506::

“As for Jamie and Claire’s fight—and I suppose you would have to call it makeup sex, though as played, it was more or less a continuation of the fight—this is one of those ‘iconic’ scenes from THE FIERY CROSS,” Gabaldon tells Parade.com exclusively.

“Those are the scenes that book readers particularly value, and spend months hoping will be included in the show. The book fans will be happy that it is included.” However, the more nitpicky fans might be distracted. “I’m afraid it’s one of those situations where they’re so provoked by the omissions and changes that they may forget to be thankful.”


Remember that if your response below (web comment) is approved, it will be posted PUBLICLY online for anyone to see.

Outlander Season 5 Premieres!


Vogue-Roger-Brianna-wedding-peekSo—premieres are upon us! We all had a wonderful time at the New York Season 5 premiere on February 11th, and will doubtless have a great time tonight in Los Angeles!! [Both premieres were special events planned by STARZ.]

My husband and I had a great time last night in L.A., celebrating our 43rd/48th anniversary (43 years legal, I mean, but we’ve been together for 48 years.)

Meanwhile, here are a couple of clips from the Good Morning America show this week, the first interview with Caitriona and Sam, and the second with Rik and Sophie. Hope you enjoy them—and I’ll let you know tomorrow (February 14) what-all happens at tonight’s premiere! (Look forward to seeing as many of you as possible!)


Above: Interview with Sam and Caitriona on GMA. (Youtube video)


Above: Interview with Ric and Sophie on GMA. (Youtube video)


Outlander Season 5 Debuts On STARZ on February 16!

In Season 5, Jamie Fraser must fight to protect those he loves, as well as the home he has established alongside his wife, Claire Fraser, their family, and the settlers of Fraser’s Ridge.

In the U.S.A., Outlander Season 5 will debut on the STARZ cable network and streaming channel on Sunday, February 16. The first episode is titled, “The Fiery Cross,”, and this season is mostly an adaptation of my book with the same name.

In Canada, Season 5 will also debut on Sunday, February 16, but on the W Network.

Outlander Season 5′s first episode will be available in Australia on Foxtel’s Fox Showcase channel on Monday, February 17th.

In the United Kingdom, the first episode of Season 5 will be available on Monday, February 17th on Amazon Prime (U.K.)

See my Where/How To Watch webpage for more details.

Other providers around the globe will be added when known. Please contact your local cable or streaming provider for more information.


The image above is from episode 1, season 5 of the Outlander TV series. Courtesy of STARZ.

No BEES Publication Date Yet!


Note: This blog entry is outdated and from January, 2020! BEES will be published on November 21, 2021 in the U.S.A. and U.K. More information.


Dear All—

BEES-no-cover-yetGeez. Spend the day in a car driving from California to Arizona, and all Hell breaks loose…

On the Amazon websites (in the U.K. and various other countries!) there is a page purporting to give a release (or publication) date of October 20th, 2020, for GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE (with a rather gloomy-looking cover) and providing a link for pre-orders—

NO, IT ISN’T TRUE!!! (but I’ve certainly been getting a lot of apologetic email from publishers…)

First off:

  1. NO, the publication date for BEES of October 20th, 2020, (or the 15th, as another Amazon site had it) is NOT CORRECT!

As I told you, the U.S. publisher (who decides the pub date) tells me they aren’t even going to think about a pub date until they have the whole manuscript in hand. (Which they don’t, though it’s only a matter of weeks now…)

  2. While the Amazon page for BEES popped up on amazon.co.uk (Amazon’s website for the U.K.), amazon.fr (Amazon’s website for France) and amazon.de (Amazon’s website for Germany), and probably a few others I don’t know about, all the announcements pertain to the U.K.’s release of what’s called an “English export edition”:

The English (original) version of the book is allowed to be sold in other countries, by the U.K. (or U.S.; I think both Random Houses in the U.S.A. and U.K. get to do export editions, but maybe to different parts of the market—it’s been a long time since I read the small print in the contracts—I do read a contract before signing it, every time, but I don’t normally need to review them). So all of this kerfuffle surrounds the U.K. export edition—not the translation editions into other languages done by the German, French, etc., publishers.

  3. Not only is the pub date not correct (it can’t be, because there isn’t one yet), the cover is not the one that will be on the book. This was an early design, which I didn’t really like.

  4. Apparently, all the erroneous Amazon pages were posted accidentally—and automatically—by what’s being described as “a systems glitch.” You know how it’s possible to set up tweets and Facebook posts ahead of time, so they’ll post automatically at a set time? It works something like that. It’s common for a publishing company to set up a dummy page for a book and add information as available, then when there IS a pub date <ahem>, set the page to go live for pre-orders. You can see that the erroneous page is missing a few things—like the author’s name….

  5. I’m assured that the erroneous pages have all been taken down. So—apologies for the kerfuffle, but I repeat (again…) —

I’LL TELL YOU when the pub date is known. And it’s not been set yet.

Once a publication date is set, it will be immediately posted here on my official web pages, including on my official GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE webpage, (bookmark it, please) and on my official “home” web page. For those who use social media, of course I’ll post the news on my official accounts there right away, as well.

Thanks!

-Diana


This blog entry was also posted by me on my official Facebook page on January 15, 2020.

Brief Explanation of How Publishing Works


2020-01-04-GCarroll-bee-crop.jpgFor Those Kind People who keep urging me to “release the book!” (as though I’m keeping the manuscript in a cage in my office)… a Brief Explanation of How Publishing Works (on the purely mechanical side):

Well, as my husband (who has certainly had enough experience by now to Know) says, “To a writer, ‘finished’ is a relative term.” And it truly is. The first ‘finished’ is the most important <g>—when you have the Whole Thing in your hands. No feeling like it! (Though giving birth isn’t far off…)

[NO! I haven’t finished writing it. Dang close, though.]

After that though… I wrote up all the phases of production, some years ago, in a vain effort to explain to the many-headed just why the fact that I’d finished writing the book didn’t mean it would be on their bookshelves the next day/week/month. I won’t do the whole list here (I have work to do tonight), but in essence, the manuscript goes from me to two editors—one in the U.S., one in the U.K.—both of whom have been reading what chunks of the book I’ve finished already (so as to get a jump on things), but who will immediately start reading from the beginning, after which both of them will give me their separate comments and notes (there are always spots where a scene or part of a scene has been accidentally repeated, so that’s where we—because I’m also reading it from the beginning—catch that kind of stuff and resolve it). I’ll have been having my own thoughts as to anything I want to change, so will be messing with the manuscript with all three sets of input in hand.

2015-diana-workingAt right, I am at home in my yard, working, in 2015.

When that’s done, the book is ‘finished,’ again—that is, it’s ready to go to the copy-editor. This is a wonderful person (at least I hope she’s still in business and available to do it for me again; she’s done the last three or four books for me, plus several Lord John ones) whose thankless task is to read the manuscript One. Word. At. A. Time, and catch any difficulties along the way: typographical errors, inconsistencies (in names, ages, times, whatever—and there will be a number of them, owing to the size of the book and the way I write), incongruities (there’s still a page in OUTLANDER—which was copy-edited by a, um, person of somewhat lesser talent, let us charitably say—where a maid brings in the tea-cups but carries out the brandy glasses at the end of the scene. Fortunately no one has ever noticed this), logical holes (she checks the distances between actual places and will let me know if it’s really possible to get from point A to point B in three days or whatever), timeline issues (did the Siege of Savannah happen before or after the Siege of Charleston (only it was still being called “Charles Town” at that point, so we need to change all the “Charleston’s”), and imposes ‘house style’ (meaning that Penguin Random House has its own conventions regarding things like whether numbers are given in digital form or spelled out, whether we do or do not use Oxford commas, etc.) throughout. She’s usually doing this under hideous time-constraints and I sent her a bottle of Really Fine Whisky last time.

But then, I have to read the copy-edited version and ‘reply’ to it, i.e., there will be a number of marginal questions or comments that I need to answer and either address or dismiss. This is ungodly labor (and also being done under a major time-constrant), but Very Necessary.

THEN the manuscript goes back and is corrected according to my last-minute corrections and insertions (I almost always realize that two or three vital bits are missing, and hastily write those scenes and insert them with the copy-edit correx), and comes back to me (AGAIN!) as galley proofs. These are, as you doubtless know, the pages of the book, printed just as it will (we hope) appear on the shelf, but on loose, unbound sheets. This is where we catch disjunctions in the formatting (very rare, but they do happen), any (we hope) minor nits that everybody has so far missed (and there is no book in existence that goes to press without errors, believe me), misspellings of the Gaelic (compositors can not get a grasp on Gaelic words, no matter how carefully I print them, if they’re inserted as corrections or additions. This is not helped by the fact that I don’t speak Gaelic and don’t always know if something is misspelled), and any truly last-minute insertions (there’s a clause in my contract that says if I change more than 10% of the text during the galley phase, I have to pay for the extra type-setting. This contingency is Remote).

I’m not mentioning any of the book design or the messing-about-with-the-cover issues, because I mostly just have to give an opinion on those, not actually do the work. But it all takes time.

Let it be noted that we did ALL of the above within five weeks, for each of the last two books. This drove everyone to the verge of insanity (and was terribly expensive), and we Really Don’t Want to Do That Again (any of us!), which is why you aren’t getting a pub date until the manuscript is by-God Finished.

[NO, it isn’t finished yet. Don’t worry—I’ll tell you when it is!]


And thank you to Grace Carroll for the lovely bee photo!

Related Information: In August, 2013, I created a flow chart of what happens to a book after I write it and it goes to my publisher, titled “What ‘Finished’ Means To An Author.”

This blog was also posted on my official Facebook page on January 5, 2020.

Onion Goggles and Season 5 Credits!


Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

2019-12-25-oniongoogles-cropHope everyone had a lovely day, whether celebrating Christmas, Chanukah, or astonishingly wintry weather.

For those of you celebrating with gifts as well as food—what is/was your favorite Christmas present/dish? (Respond below by adding a web comment, if you wish.)

Mine was the Onion Goggles my son gave me, which made making enchiladas SO much more enjoyable! (Yes, I am indeed cooking in my pajamas.)

Season 5 Credits!

And a modest gift below from Starz: The new opening credits sequence for Season Five, which premieres on February 16, 2020!

Click here to view the Starz video of Outlander (Season 5) credits above directly on Youtube, or if your device isn’t showing the video properly.

(Note that I’m not sure if this STARZ video will play in all countries.)


Remember if you submit a comment to my website, they are moderated, and when approved they are viewable by the public! <g>

Happy St. Nicholas’s Day!


St. Nicholas - Slovakia (Wikipedia)Happy St. Nicholas’s Day!

If you celebrate this feast in your country, you know it’s a day for gifts—so in recognition of that, I thought I’d post a sweet message from my younger daughter:

Dear Mama—

So I was walking out of Sprouts [grocery store] last night with a few things and I saw a homeless person setting up shop for the night in the alcove. And there’s me in my warm jacket with food for my family walking to my new car about to go to my warm house with my beautiful, healthy babies and that hit me hard.

Anyways, lots of things about gratitude and doing nice things this time of year and everybody should probably be doing nice things all year but would you consider posting something about it? Obviously totally fine if not; your page and all.

But if you do, here are some things we’ve been doing and other ideas:

    - donate to a food bank

    - donate to any cause you care about

    - visit elderly neighbors or a care home

    - tell someone you love them

    - pay someone a compliment

    - hold the door

    - tell someone you appreciate them

    - thank firefighters, policemen, doctors, paramedics etc for helping us or make them cookies or a card (my doctor who has a 6- month-old called me on a Sunday with an answer about something and apologized to ME for calling on the weekend as she caught up on work so S and I are taking her flowers later today)

    - buy someone a coffee

Anyways, post it if you like and either way thanks for being so amazing in all the ways and always being so kind yourself all year round. We love you.

    Jenny

Diana here: All wonderful suggestions for the season! I’d add just one more: Smile at people when you pass them in the street.

Years ago, I was walking toward a store in San Diego, and passed an older woman coming the other way. I caught her eye, and smiled at her—no reason, but she looked pleasant.

To my astonishment, her face went blank with shock, and she stood there with her mouth open. I thought maybe she was having a dizzy spell or something and said, “Do you need help?”

She shook her head and said, with tears in her eyes, “I was just walking along, thinking that nobody cares whether I’m even alive, and praying that maybe someone would just… notice me—and you did.”

A tiny thing is a tiny thing—but sometimes it’s bigger than you think.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and a Blessed Winter Solstice to you all!

    -Diana


The image above of St. Nicholas is from Wikipedia.

This blog was first posted on my only official Facebook page on December 6, 2019.

“Piety”


Social Media Hashtags: #DailyLines, #FirstSundayofAdvent, #2019

Today is the First Sunday of Advent. Advent is the period just before Christmas, when we turn inward in prayer or contemplation, seeking the Light that is within us, and awaiting the great Light to come.

[Excerpt from GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE, Copyright © 2019 by Diana Gabaldon.]

2019-12-01-Advent-DGRachel had explained the basic working of a Friends Meeting to the attendees—that one sat in silence, listening to one’s inner light, unless or until the spirit moved you to say something—whether that was a worry you wished to share, a prayer you wanted to make, a song to sing, or a thought you might want to discuss.

She’d added that while many meetings both began and ended in silence, she felt moved of the spirit to begin today’s meeting by singing, and while she did not pretend to do so with the skill of Friend Walter Cunningham or Friend Roger, (the MacKenzies had come, of course, but the Cunninghams had not, which didn’t surprise me), if anyone wished to join her, she would be grateful for their company.

A good deal of warmth having been enkindled by the song—and Bluebell’s contribution—everyone had sat quietly for a few minutes. I’d felt Jamie, beside me, draw himself up a little, as though having made a decision, and he’d told the congregation about Sylvia Hardman, a Quaker woman he’d met by chance at her house near Philadelphia, and who had cared for him for several days, his back having chosen to incapacitate him.

“Besides her great kindness,” he said, “I was taken by her wee daughters. They were as kind as their mother—but it was their names I liked most. Patience, Prudence, and Chastity, they were called. So I’d meant to ask ye, Rachel—do Friends often call their children after virtues?”

“They do,” she said, and smiling at Jemmy, who had started to twitch a little, added, “Jeremiah—if thee wasn’t called Jeremiah, what name would thee choose? If thee were to be named for a virtue, I mean.”

“Whassa virtue?” Mandy had asked, frowning at her brother as though expecting him to sprout one momentarily.

“Something good,” Germain had told her. “Like…” he glanced dubiously at Rachel for confirmation, “…Peace? Or maybe Goodness?”

“Exactly,” she’d said, nodding gravely. “What name would thee choose, Germain, while Jemmy is thinking? Piety?”

“No!” he’d said, horrified, and amid the general laughter, people had begun proposing nommes-de-virtu, both for themselves and various family members, with ensuing outbursts of laughter or—once or twice—heated discussions regarding the appropriateness of a suggestion.


Click here to visit my official BEES webpage which has up-to-date information about this book and access to the sixty-plus excerpts (aka “Daily Lines”) that I have released so far.


This excerpt is from GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE, Copyright © 2019 by Diana Gabaldon, the ninth book in my Outlander series of novels. All rights reserved.

If you wish to share this excerpt, “Piety,” with others, please copy and paste this link (URL) below:

http://www.dianagabaldon.com/books/outlander-series/book-nine-outlander-series/piety/

Please do not copy the text from this excerpt (whole or in part) and paste it to share on personal or fan webpages, blogs, social media, in printed or digital documents, or anywhere else, publicly or privately. And please do not translate this excerpt into another language and publicly post, publish, or share it. Thanks!

-Diana

Photo by and © Diana Gabaldon.

Three BEES Excerpts


Social Media Hashtags:#DailyLines, #GoTELLTheBEESThatIAmGONE, #Book9, #YesThereWillBeABook10, #SoonerOrLater, #NOBEESisntdone, #soon, #Meanwhile, #ThreeSHORTExcerpts, &#HardToFindLinesWithoutSpoilers

[Excerpts (3) from GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE, Copyright © 2019 by Diana Gabaldon]

One

20191017-EKelly-Bees-cropIan had come in quietly—like an Indian, Rachel thought—sometime past midnight, crouching by the bed and blowing softly in her ear to rouse her, lest he startle her and wake Oggy. She’d hastily checked the latter, then swung her feet out of bed and rose to embrace her husband.

“Thee smells of blood,” she whispered. “What has thee killed?”

“A beast,” he whispered back, and cupped her cheek in his palm. “I had to, but I’m no sorry for it.”

She nodded, feeling a sharp stone forming in her throat.

“Will ye come out wi’ me, mo nighean donn? I need help.”

She nodded again, and turned to find the cloak she used for a bedgown. There was a sense of grimness about him, but something else as well, and she couldn’t tell what it was.

She was hoping that he hadn’t brought the body home with the expectation that she would help him bury or hide it, whatever—or whoever—it was, but he had just killed something he considered to be evil and perhaps felt himself pursued.


Two

“What was it your Mam said to your Da about this expedition?” Roger rolled up his breeches to mid-thigh, eyeing the wagon-wheel whose rim protruded from the burbling middle of a small creek.

“It’s too deep,” Brianna said, frowning at the rushing brown water. “You’d better take your breeches off. And maybe your shirt, too.”

“That’s what she said? Though she’s likely right about it being too deep…”

Brianna made a small, amused snort. He’d taken off his shoes, stockings, coat, waistcoat and neck cloth, and looked like a man stripped to fight a serious duel.

“The good news is that with a current like that, you won’t get leeches. What she said—or what she quoted herself as having said, which isn’t necessarily the same thing—was:

‘You’re telling me that you mean to turn a perfectly respectable Presbyterian minister into a gun-runner—and send him in a wagon full of dodgy gold to buy a load of guns, in company with your eleven-year-old grandson?’”

“Aye, that’s the bit. I was expecting it to be more fun…” Reluctantly, he shucked his breeks, tossing them onto the shoes and stockings. “Maybe I shouldn’t have brought you and the kids. Germain and I would have had a great adventure by ourselves.”


Three

I did wonder just how Roger proposed to follow Captain Cunningham’s act. The congregation had scattered under the trees to take refreshment, but every group I passed was discussing what the Captain had said, with great excitement and absorption—as well they might. The spell of his story remained with me—a sense of wonder and hope.

Bree seemed to be wondering, too; I saw her with Roger, in the shade of a big chinkapin oak, in close discussion. He shook his head, though, smiled, and tugged her cap straight. She’d dressed her part, as a modest minister’s wife, and smoothed her skirt and bodice.

“Two months, and she’ll be comin’ to kirk in buckskins,” Jamie said, following the direction of my gaze.

“What odds?” I inquired.

“Three to one. Ye want to wager, Sassenach?”

“Gambling on Sunday? You’re going straight to hell, Jamie Fraser.”

“I dinna mind. Ye’ll be there afore me. Askin’ me the odds, forbye… Besides, going to church three times in one day must at least get ye a few days off Purgatory.”

I nodded.

“Ready for Round Two?”

Roger kissed Brianna, and strode out of the shade into the sunlit day, tall, dark and handsome in his best black—well, his only black suit. He came toward us, Bree on his heels, and I saw several people in the nearby groups notice this, and begin to put away their bits of bread and cheese and beer, to retire behind bushes for a private moment, and to tidy up children who’d come undone.

I sketched a salute as Roger came up to us.

“Over the top?”

“Geronimo,” he replied briefly and with a visible squaring of the shoulders, turned to greet his flock and usher them inside.


Click here to visit my official webpage for GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE which has more information about this book, and access to the more than fifty other excerpts (aka “Daily Lines”) that I have released.


Many thanks to Elizabeth Lutz Kelly, who took the lovely bee photo, and to her mother Jan Lutz, who sent it to me.

These three excerpts are from GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE, Copyright © 2019 by Diana Gabaldon, the ninth book in my Outlander series of novels. All rights reserved.

If you wish to share these excerpts with others, please copy and paste this link (URL):

http://www.dianagabaldon.com/books/outlander-series/book-nine-outlander-series/three-bees-excerpts/

Please do not copy the text from this excerpt (whole or in part) and paste it to share on personal or fan webpages, blogs, social media, in printed or digital documents, or anywhere else, publicly or privately. And please do not translate this excerpt into another language and publicly post, publish, or share it. Thanks!

-Diana

These excerpts (or “Daily Lines”) were posted on my official Facebook page on October 17, 2019. This webpage was last updated on Thursday, October 17, 2019 2019 at 7:00 a.m. (Pacific Time).

BEES Workmanship Example


Social media hashtags: #DailyLines, #GoTELLTheBEESThatIAmGONE, #Noitisntdoneyet, #SOON, #workmanship, #example

2019-09-Brock-Beatrice-bee-cropA couple of days ago, I was reading a discussion about manuscript size in the LitForum, and a writer working on his first novel asked—“If you think your manuscript might be too long—how you decide which words to cut?”

He got a lot of useful answers and comments, and I answered him, too—but since my answer involved a snippet from BEES, I thought y’all might be interested in the technique, as well as the snip itself. (If you don’t care about writing techniques, but do want to read the excerpt, just scroll down to “FINAL(ISH) VERSION.”

Answer to the Question: “How do you decide which words to cut?”

You cut the ones you don’t need. The very last thing I do to a manuscript before sending it to the assorted editors (in US, UK and Germany) is what I call “slash-and-burn:” I go through it one word at a time, chanting (silently) “Do I need this word? Do I need this sentence? Do I need this paragraph? Do I need this scene?” And if the answer is no, I pull it out (mind you, I don’t throw them away (I value my work, whether I use it or not <g>); I just park them in a file called the Assembly Buffer and save it, so I can pull things back in if I change my mind or realize that I do need X because it’s attached to a later Y that won’t make sense if X isn’t somewhere, even if not where I originally put it).

Mind you, I do this in medias res, too; I don’t save it all for the final days. <g>

Here’s a brief passage, then its assembly buffer, and then the final (for now…) version:

[Excerpt below is non-spoilerish, but it is from GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE, Copyright © 2019 by Diana Gabaldon]:

ORIGINAL VERSION

Over the next few weeks, the—you couldn’t call them “warring,” nor even, really, “opposing”—but certainly “differing” approaches to God on offer at the Meeting House had collected their own adherents. Many people still attended more than one service—whether from an eclectic approach to ritual, a strong but undecided interest, a desire for society, if not instruction—or simply because it was more interesting to go to church than it was to sit at home piously reading the Bible out loud to their families.

Still, each service had its own core of worshippers, who came every Sunday, plus a varying number of floaters and droppers-in, and when the weather was fine, many people remained for the day, picnicking under the poplars and [elms?], comparing notes on the Methodist service versus the Presbyterian one—and as the congregations were largely Highland Scots possessed of strong personal opinions, arguing about everything from the message of the sermon to the state of the minister’s shoes.

…[omitted text (because it has a spoiler in it)]

After each of the morning services, I would take up a station under a particular huge horse-chestnut tree and run a casual clinic for an hour or so, dressing minor injuries, looking down throats, and offering advice (along with a surreptitious (because it was Sunday, after all) bottle of “tonic”—this being a decoction of raw but well-watered whisky and sugar, with assorted herbal substances added for the treatment of vitamin deficiency, alleviation of toothache or indigestion, or (in cases where I suspected its need) a slug of turpentine to kill hookworms.

Meanwhile, Jamie—often with Ian at his elbow—would wander from one group of men to another, greeting everyone, chatting and listening. Always listening.

“Ye canna keep politics secret, Sassenach,” he’d told me. “Even if they wanted to—and they mostly don’t want to—they canna hold their tongues or disguise what they think.”

“What they think in terms of political principle, or what they think of their neighbors’ political principles?” I asked, having caught the echoes of these discussions from the women who formed the major part of my pastoral Sunday surgery.

He laughed, but not with a lot of humor in it.

“If they tell ye what their neighbor thinks, Sassenach, it doesna take much mind-reading to ken what they think.”

“Do you think they know what you’re thinking?” I asked, curious. He shrugged.

“If they don’t, they soon will.”

ASSEMBLY BUFFER

(with explanation of changes—or not)

[I took these out because they weren't necessary, and removing them improved the flow and clarity of the sentences.]

—you couldn’t call them “warring,” nor even, really, “opposing”—but certainly “differing”

—strong but

—[poplars and [elms?],]— Hmm. Do I want specifically-named trees, or should it just be “picnicking under the trees” for brevity? (Also, would you find elms in the North Carolina mountains in the 18th century, and would they be growing near poplars?) Normally, I go for specific details because it helps fix the scene visually, but not sure about this one… I mention a particular tree a little later in this passage, so I think this time, I’m going with “trees.” Shorter, and improves the rhythm and euphony of the sentence. This is background for what’s going to happen at the bottom of the page, so no need to embroider more than necessary.

being (plus assorted punctuation). Better clarity—and as this is Claire’s viewpoint and narrative, the sentence fragment is acceptable.

[I considered removing these (below), but didn't:]

[if not instruction]—

[piously]— ditto, this one. Do I need that word? Yes, because it evokes a particular mental image that “reading the Bible” doesn’t quite cover. It’s also a judgement from Claire’s point of view—that’s how she sees the attitude of the Bible readers—and this is her voice.

[Punctuation and minor corrections.]

, and (the paragraphs here are rather long and dense-looking. I want to break up the sentences and make them more readable)

Add missing parenthesis after “hookworms.”

Change “decoction” to “concoction” (a decoction is boiled, which would drive off the alcohol from the whisky—and thanks to an alert reader of the original post who brought that to my attention!)

… [omitted material]

[ After each of the morning services, I would take up a station under a particular huge horse-chestnut tree and run a casual clinic for an hour or so, dressing minor injuries, looking down throats, and offering advice (along with a surreptitious (because it was Sunday, after all) bottle of “tonic”—this being a decoction of raw but well-watered whisky and sugar, with assorted herbal substances added for the treatment of vitamin deficiency, alleviation of toothache or indigestion, or (in cases where I suspected its need) a slug of turpentine to kill hookworms.]—

[Now, at first glance, this paragrah looks ripe for breaking up into shorter sentences and eliminating words, but I'm not going to. It's a direct rendition of the way Claire thinks—in layers, referencing each other—and (more importantly <g&rt;) give a capsule sense of what her morning surgery under the horse-chestnut tree is actually like: a parade of assorted ailments and her quick handling of them to the best of her ability. This comes well into the book; readers with no patience for parentheses will have abandoned ship long since...]

The end part, I’m not changing anything. I normally fiddle enough with the dialogue and underpainting as I go that it’s pretty much as it should be, and this is clean. Sentences short and clear, but giving what they should in terms of information and attitude.

So—

FINAL(ISH) VERSION:

Over the next few weeks, the different approaches to God on offer at the Meeting House had collected their own adherents. Many people still attended more than one service, whether from an eclectic approach to ritual, an undecided interest, a desire for society, if not instruction—or simply because it was more interesting to go to church than it was to sit at home piously reading the Bible out loud to their families.

Still, each service had its own core of worshippers, who came every Sunday, plus a varying number of floaters and droppers-in. When the weather was fine, many people remained for the day, picnicking under the trees and comparing notes on the Methodist service versus the Presbyterian one. And being largely Highland Scots possessed of strong personal opinions, arguing about everything from the message of the sermon to the state of the minister’s shoes.

After each of the morning services, I would take up a station under a particular huge horse-chestnut tree and run a casual clinic for an hour or so, dressing minor injuries, looking down throats, and offering advice (along with a surreptitious (because it was Sunday, after all) bottle of “tonic”—this being a concoction of raw but well-watered whisky and sugar, with assorted herbal substances added for the treatment of vitamin deficiency, alleviation of toothache or indigestion, or (in cases where I suspected its need) a slug of turpentine to kill hookworms).

Meanwhile, Jamie—often with Ian at his elbow—would wander from one group of men to another, greeting everyone, chatting and listening. Always listening.

“Ye canna keep politics secret, Sassenach,” he’d told me. “Even if they wanted to—and they mostly don’t want to—they canna hold their tongues or disguise what they think.”

“What they think in terms of political principle, or what they think of their neighbors’ political principles?” I asked, having caught the echoes of these discussions from the women who formed the major part of my pastoral Sunday surgery.

He laughed, but not with a lot of humor in it.

“If they tell ye what their neighbor thinks, Sassenach, it doesna take much mind-reading to ken what they think.”

“Do you think they know what you’re thinking?” I asked, curious. He shrugged.

“If they don’t, they soon will.”


This excerpt and explanatory text is from GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE, Copyright © 2019 by Diana Gabaldon. Please do not copy and paste the text in this post (whole or in part) to any other webpage, social media account, or anywhere else. Kindly share this URL instead:

http://www.dianagabaldon.com/2019/09/bees-workmanship-example/

And thanks to Beatrix Brockman for sharing her lovely bee photo.


I also posted this excerpt and information about it in this blog on my official Facebook page on September 2, 2019.